“Children, even infants, are capable of sympathy. But only after adolescence are we capable of compassion.”
-Louise J. Kaplan
Understanding Adolescents: The Basics
Adolescents generally refer to young people aged between 10 to 19 years. It is like a bridge connecting and balancing changes from childhood to adulthood. This stage is all about changes – physical, emotional, and social. Hormones are raging, friendships deepen (or dissolve), and everyone seems to be dealing with identity crises. Essentially, your child is walking on a tightrope juggling school, friends, potential romantic interests, and, oh, let’s not forget social media pressure.
Key Concepts of Adolescence:
- Emotional Roller Coaster: Teenagers are like tiny tornados of emotions. At times, they are the highest on happiness, but sometimes, they are just as low in the dumps. This emotional variation is normal but can sometimes shock parents who wonder whether they are living with a little monster.
- Independence Seeking: Adolescents crave autonomy and may push boundaries. This desire for independence often manifests through rebellious behaviour, testing limits, and, yes, sometimes a reluctance to validate parental rules or advice.
- Peer Influence: Friends become paramount, sometimes outweighing family opinions. This shift can leave parents feeling replaced, often leading to poor, conflicted, relationship dynamics.
- Identity Exploration: At this point, teens are motivated to learn about themselves. They try different things, styles, and even ideologies. As parents, it’s essential to be supportive and understanding even when their decisions seem weird.
Best Practices in Parenting Teens:
- Open Lines of Communication: You should create an atmosphere in which your teenager feels comfortable talking. Let them know that you are open to hearing about everything, from the silly to the monumental. You could even create a “talking time” when it is just the two of you and you can share thoughts without judgment.
- Give Space but Stay Close: While space for an adolescent to go exploring and discover independence is very important, it’s equally important to be present in the background. Draw the balance between respecting that need for privacy and involvement in life. Just because they may not want the family gathering doesn’t mean you should stop inviting them.
- Be a good listener: When they do open up, have your ears open rather than shooting off solutions in your mind. Sometimes that is enough for them, you validating what they are going through. A nod, a smile, or an “I understand” works wonders.
- Set Boundaries with Flexibility: Set reasonable rules and expectations, but also open to discussion. Adolescents respond better when they feel their opinions are valued. A family meeting where everyone can share thoughts on rules can be incredibly effective!
- Model Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Adolescents are keen observers and often mimic adult behaviours. If you show healthy coping mechanisms when stressed whether that’s exercise, journaling, or just chatting – they’re more likely to adopt those practices too.
- Stay Involved in Their Interests: Ask them about their hobbies, listen to the same kind of music they listen to, or watch their favourite latest show together. That way, you get more in tune with each other, but also a sense of what’s happening around them.
Navigating Adolescents with Disorders:
When dealing with adolescents with disorders, the challenges might feel a little high. Here’s how you can particularly manage the situations:
- Understanding the Disorder/Condition: Every child’s experience of a disorder is different. Take time to learn about your child’s condition, his symptoms, and various methods of coping. Knowledge shall empower both of you.
- Mind the Triggers: Many adolescents who have disorders have specific triggers, which can cause emotional upsets. Work with them to identify these and how to avoid or cope in such situations.
- Hormonal Influence: During adolescence, hormonal changes like increased testosterone and estrogen can impact mood and behaviour. For those with disorders, these shifts may worsen symptoms, requiring careful management. Understanding this helps in providing better support.
- Promote Routine: Many young people like structure. Establish a routine, such as setting up daily schedules, meals at the same time of day, or homework done in an organized manner; this can provide a form of stability, especially at such turbulent times.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Encourage and recognize the progress, no matter how small. Celebrate their achievements, whether it’s tackling a tough assignment or just making it through a challenging week.
- Unconditional Love: Remind your adolescent that your love for them doesn’t deviate due to their struggles. Show kindness and patience; they need it more than you might realize.
- Encourage peer support: Engage your teenager in peer support groups where they can associate with others facing similar challenges. Feeling not alone makes all the difference!
Final Thoughts…!
By using these strategies, along with empathy, confidence building, and support, you can help your adolescent navigate this challenging stage, even if it is with a disorder. Adolescence can be a time of growth, but it can also be difficult if not approached in the right way, with stability and guidance.