How to improve/build an emotional quotient in children?

Definition of Emotional Quotient or EQ-Emotional quotient or EQ (also known as emotional intelligence or EI) is defined as the ability to recognize, understand and manage our own emotions andinfluence the emotions of others in positive ways.

It allows us to monitor our emotions as well as of others, distinguish between and label different emotions correctly and use emotional information to guide our thinking and behaviour and influence that of others.

The level of one’s emotional intelligence can be measured as his emotional quotient (or EQ).

Attributes of Emotional intelligence

It  is commonly defined by four attributes:

  1. Self awareness – It is understanding of our own emotions and moods. We recognize our own emotions and how they affect our thoughts and behaviour. It refers to understanding our strengths, weaknesses and motivational factors.
  2. Self-management– It means control over emotions and think before act. It is how we manage our ownemotions in a positive way  (like controlling our impulsive feelings and behaviours) and how well we control our responses to new or challenging situations.
  3. Social awareness– It includes understanding the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people even when partly expressed or unspoken.
  4. Relationship management– It refers to developing a rapport with new people.Understanding other’s emotions and treat them as they wish to be treated. This allows us to develop and maintain good relationships with people, communicate with them clearly and confidently, inspire and influence others, work as a team, and manage conflict.

Importance of Emotional Quotient 

It’s a well known scientific fact that our emotions precede out thoughts. Sometimes when our emotions run high, they change the way our brainfunctions and respond.Itdiminishes our cognitive abilities, decision-making process, and even our skills.

To succeed more in our personal as well as professional lives we need to understand and manage our emotions and those of others.

At a personal level, EQ helps us to:

  • Have conversations with people without hurting their feelings
  • Manage our emotions during different situations, for example, when stressed or feeling overwhelmed
  • Improve our relationships with the people we care about
  • It helps us to maintain our physical health by managing our stress, as stress can cause various health issues like raised blood pressure, suppressed immune system etc.
  • It helps us to prevent mental illnesses like anxiety and depression which can be caused by uncontrolled emotions and stress.

At work, EQ helps us to:

  • Resolve conflicts 
  • Motivate and support others
  • Create a culture of collaboration

Childhood EQ is connected to higher accomplishment duringadulthood. A kid’s social and emotional abilities in kindergarten might anticipate long lasting achievement.

A kid who can calm them self when they feel angry is liable to do well in troublesome conditions. Furthermore, a kid who can communicate their feelings in a sound manner is probably going to keep up with better connections than the one who shouts or expresses mean things when he’s furious.

EQ vs IQ

The term Emotional intelligence was first coined by researchers John Mayer and Peter Salovey in 1990, but was later popularized by psychologist Daniel Goleman.

Intelligence quotient (IQ) on its own is not enough to achieve success in life. Our IQ can help us get into college, but it’sour EQ that will help us to manage our emotions, bond with new people and manage stress during our final exams.

How to improve or build an emotional quotient in children?

Children face challenges every day. EQ plays a key role in shaping how children respond to problems.

EQ is like a GPS for a childthat can help him navigate his way around obstacles and towards success. It allows him to understandthe situationsput them in perspective andcome up with ways to work through them.

Step 1: Be aware of child’s emotions.
Parents should be aware of their feelings and should be sensitive to the emotions present in their children. Acknowledge the child’s perspective and empathize.

Step 2: See emotions as an opportunity to connect with the child and teach them.
Children’s emotions are an opportunity to connect with the child and coach them through the challenges.One should accepta child’s emotions, rather than denying or minimizing them.

Disapproving theiranger, fear or feelingswill force them to repress them. Unfortunately, repressed feelings don’t fade away, they’re trapped and leads the child to developa nervous tic.

Parent’sacceptance helps the child to accept his own emotions, resolve feelings and move on, so he is better able to regulate his own emotions.

The most ideal approach to show your kid how to communicate feelings is by modelling these skills yourself.

Step 3: Listen and validate the feelings.
Give children full attention while listening to their emotional expressions. Make sure that the child let his feelings wash over and out, this will leave them relaxed and cooperative. By letting our children feel and express their emotions, we not only heal their mind and body, but also help them trust their own emotional process.This will help them to handle their own emotions as they get older, without tantrums or repression.

Step 4: Label their emotions.
After completely listening to his feelings and understanding his emotions, help him develop emotional vocabulary for their emotional expression.

Step 5: Help child in their problem solving skills.

 Help him in coping with his emotions by developing problem solving skills. This could be done by setting goals and helping them to reach those goals.

Teach them specific skills. For instance, he might profit with figuring out how to take a couple of profound breaths when they’re angryto calm their body down.

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